


Your Princess Owes Me a Thousand Coins

by OwlsCantRead



Category: Wreck-It Ralph (Movies)
Genre: AU of the first movie, Alternate Universe, Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-10-15 00:52:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17519093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwlsCantRead/pseuds/OwlsCantRead
Summary: King Candy’s loss of total control over Sugar Rush wasn’t solely caused by Ralph. In reality, his fall from grace had been precipitated from a fifteen-year-long debt — a debt that Tapper prudently decided to recover from the three rambunctious Sugar Rush racers who had cluelessly strolled into his tavern, setting off a chain of events which shows them that not all is as it seems…





	1. Root Beer Tapper

A/N: Words in _italics_ indicate character thoughts and/or flashbacks.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Root Beer Tapper**

Rancis Fluggerbutter was a cautious racer.

It didn't seem all too obvious at first glance, but it was actually a distinct part of his personality. To be reckless went against his very code. It was just so… undignified.

Perhaps it was because his entire shtick and design had been based off peanut butter — a distinctive soft and creamy treat that was prone to melting in the heat. He just wasn't like Swizzle or Taffyta… and those two had hard-candy themes anyway, lollipops and strawberry suckers respectively. No wonder they were both so hardy and audacious.

But not him. He was the polar opposite.

When a player wasn't controlling him as the avatar, Rancis' driving style would usually involve him maintaining a cool and constant pace on the raceway. He would personally describe his personal style of racing as smooth and steady. It was a playstyle which suited his perfectionism, especially considering that he always kept up his appearances even when he was behind the wheel.

Like prepping up his hair, slow and steady wins the race in the end.

Unlike a few other racers whom he knew, Rancis actively elected not to aggravate the avatar character chosen by the players during arcade hours, knowing that doing so might lead to the gamer retaliating against him. He didn't need or want to get their attention, very much preferring to finish the race uneventfully.

Rancis certainly wasn't going to be like his friend Gloyd, who usually sprinted to the front in the beginning of a race, a gesture which was very risky but rewarded him well when it worked… 'tis a shame it only went the pumpkin-hatted racer's way about a measly one-in-five times. It was typically over for Gloyd the instant the gamer playing their avatar got a _Sweet Seeker_ powerup and aimed down "that annoying CPU pumpkinhead racer that overtook them".

Having such a high sweetness level was always Gloyd's downfall.

Now just because he was less aggressive than the others didn't mean that he was going easy. Oh, not at all. He could still pull a stunt or two, drift and play dirty if necessary, but he adamantly tried his best to avoid doing so while in front of the player. If it's one thing Rancis cared about, it was maintaining his image. He'd take the role of the nice guy, cordial and affable while behind the wheel… unless he was picked to be the player's avatar, in which case it was all fair game.

His non-confrontational style had its upsides and downsides. On one hand, Rancis was usually left alone by the avatar character as compared to a few of the more boisterous racers… but on the other, he almost never won either. In fact, he only overtook the avatar racer about half of the time, and even when he managed to get the better of a newbie player at the game Taffyta would always be ahead of him anyway.

However, the Random Roster Races that were hosted after arcade hours was a completely different story altogether. It was the only time Rancis went against his programming and took more risks than usual.

It probably had something to do with the fact that he'd _still_ never been able to nab first place in one to this very day.

Not once in fifteen whole years. It was still a sore spot for the boy.

And to be fair, he wasn't the only one to take risks in the daily roster race. Every racer was in the race to get a finishing place that was above the double-digits, as that would lock them down as the next day's avatar characters.

But the elusive first place was also a coveted position in the roster races. It wouldn't be a Random Roster Race if Taffyta wasn't perpetually being reckless and hasty in a bid to reach for that goal. Rancis found that he, along with Candlehead, would simply copy her style to stay ahead of their competition. It was a valid strategy, and it certainly had its perks, usually resulting in them placing within the top five in the roster races.

That being said, on occasion he would opt to break formation from the infamous Taffyta-Candlehead-Rancis trio and try to make a break for first place himself in a roster race. It never worked, and Taffyta would always get back at him for his 'betrayal' by overtaking him with a taunt. It was an inevitability.

As a result, whenever he pulled a stunt like that once in a blue moon, Rancis would always end up soured at being robbed of victory yet again and fall back in formation in time for the next Random Roster Race, swearing not to do anything reckless again while cursing inwardly that his risks never paid off.

But after the daily roster race, when Taffyta stopped bossing him around and he actually had some time to himself, he could let his hair down—figuratively, that is—and let himself hang back and relax.

Gone was calm and collected Rancis (or rarely, reckless Rancis). It was just plain ol' Rancis that remained when Taffyta and Candlehead left for home, the boy finally dropping his mask when his clique left him alone.

Although Rancis positively adored attention, he knew that rather ironically, he would not be able to survive being put in a leadership role. It was truly the irony of ironies for the vain blonde boy — he craved perfection when it came to looks and appearances, but had absolutely no situational awareness or leadership qualities to lead or influence the others whatsoever, even with all of his suave looks and charms.

To put it bluntly — he was a follower, not a leader. He had no idea how Taffyta pulled it off so easily, but he would gladly take being her sidekick if it meant her being in charge, as it would take all the horrid decision making stuff away from him.

And that trait applied to outside of the race track as well.

It wasn't always a good thing for Rancis, however. Being a follower was after all, the reason why Swizzle and Gloyd had managed to drag him into their latest antics.

An annoyed sigh escaped his lips as he contemplated his current predicament. It had all started after the end of the roster race. Swizzle had made an outlandish suggestion that wasn't to his liking, but Gloyd had readily agreed. Accepting that he wasn't going to be able to argue against the terrible duo when they'd already reached a consensus, Rancis simply accepted defeat and conceded to them, much to their amusement.

The racer adjusted his blazer and began trudging forward, dragging his feet as he glanced up to the sign above him, the structure being the only thing that stood between him and the rainbow bridge that led to the game's exit.

'Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow… COME BACK SOON!'

His blue eyes scanned the message that was emblazoned on the chocolate signboard as he apprehensively hung back, starting to get an uneasy feeling in his gut about the venture that he'd been put up to.

Seriously, what was Swizzle thinking?

Eventually making his way to the top of the rainbow bridge, Rancis groaned when he saw Swizzle and Gloyd already impatiently waiting for him at the exit of Sugar Rush. Gloyd was rhymetically tapping his foot against the ground, while Swizzle was looking at his wrist and eyeing a nonexistent watch.

"What took you so long, Rancis?" Gloyd called out to him, finally noticing his friend approaching.

Rancis indignantly put his arm by his hip in reply. "Oh, the usual. W-Was just doing up my hair, that's all."

Swizzle raised his brow inquisitively when he noted that Rancis had stumbled on his words. "You stuttered there, Rancis. You sure it wasn't because you were chicken?" There was silence as the two boys looked at each other, Swizzle's smile growing in proportion to Rancis' fearful frown.

"Oh, you got me…" Rancis mumbled as he averted his eyes away from Swizzle, before flinging his arms to his sides. "Geez!" he squawked, his voice breaking and going high-pitched for a moment. "How are you two so calm and nonchalant about this? I'm shaking so hard right now!"

"Rancis." Gloyd's lips curled upwards in bemusement. "You need to toughen up, you total softie. Everyone knows that you only act tough when you're following Taffyta's orders."

"It's not because of Taffyta, okay?!" Rancis snapped, remembering her overtaking him—again—in the roster race that had just taken place. He quickly changed the topic with an unamused scowl, "Anyway… _game jumping_? King Candy specifically forbade it, Swizzle!" This was such a bad idea, and he knew it.

And yet, he'd gotten himself dragged into it regardless. All because Gloyd and Swizzle outnumbered his opinion.

"Never stopped me." Swizzle flashed Rancis a smirk. "And besides, Gloyd's never went out of Sugar Rush either, but you don't see him panicking like you," he pointed out with a carefree shrug.

Rancis darted his eyes between the cocky Swizzle and King Candy's castle, looming menacingly in the background back down in the pastures of Sugar Rush below. "Look…" he began, nervously shifting his feet, "I'm seriously having second thoughts about this—"

"Like what I told Gloyd, I've done this before," Swizzle interjected as Gloyd nodded in concurrence. "You have nothing to fear!" he reassured Rancis, marching to the tunnel that led out of the game cabinet and beckoning the others to follow him. "Just watch and learn from the _master_!" he proclaimed while boldly strolling into the void.

As Swizzle had already made haste, he didn't notice that Gloyd had raised his arms up while he was talking, cheekily flexing with two fingers to show air quotes while Swizzle said the word 'master'.

Rancis had to stifle a chuckle so as to not tip Swizzle off to the fact that Gloyd was poking fun at him behind his back, before the sickening feeling in his gut returned twofold from Gloyd's attempt at humor. "This is such a bad idea, man…" he whined with a pout, twiddling his fingers as he fell into place alongside Gloyd.

Although Rancis always tried to keep up appearances around the other racers, the two other male racers in Sugar Rush—Gloyd and Swizzle—could always see right through him, so he didn't bother to put up any façades when he was hanging around them. "I mean, what if King Candy finds out about this? I don't want to be thrown in the Fungeon!"

"Calm yourself down before your hair gets split ends!" Swizzle snickered, slowing down his pace so that he could give Rancis a reassuring pat on the back. "He'll never find out, Rancis! I've been doing this game-jumping thingamajig for years and no one from the castle has ever caught me! You gotta relax a little. Just chill!"

Gloyd took a few large strides to end up beside the other two boys. "Besides, don't you remember what King Candy said to everyone as he closed off today's Random Roster Race?" he asked, prompting them to jog their memory. "He mentioned that tomorrow's the fifteen-year anniversary of our game being plugged in. That's fifteen years' worth of medals and trophies that we've all earned—"

"Ahem!" Rancis coughed, angrily folding his arms and glowering at Gloyd. The pumpkin-based racer sheepishly rubbed the back of his head when he realized why his friend took offense.

"Sorry," he apologized with a cheeky smile, one which showed that he wasn't truly sorry. Before Rancis could get him to apologize in earnest, Gloyd continued on. "Anyway, fifteen years. Of course this calls for a celebration. That's why Swizz is going to take us on a tour of this place."

"And here we are!" Swizzle suddenly announced as he walked down a flight of stairs at the end of the tunnel. "Beyond here lies Game Central Station!"

Rancis raised a brow in disbelief as Swizzle whipped out a spray can from under his outfit and proceeded to sign his name on the tiled wall outside Sugar Rush… by shamelessly vandalizing it with graffiti. Gloyd gleefully cheered him on from the sidelines with a rambunctious grin which suggested that he would be eager to imitate his friend's act if he had a spray can of his own.

"What are you doing, Swizzle?" Rancis asked with a knowing smirk as he glanced out to the open station that lay beyond them.

"C'mon! Don't be a sour pop!" Swizzle grumbled as he admired his handiwork. "I'm just telling people that I was here."

"By drawing graffiti on the walls? What if King Candy sees this!?" Rancis ranted, his body tensing up again. "You literally wrote your name down for everyone to see!"

Swizzle grinned at Rancis' observation. "It's a gamble worth taking if it means my name gets out there."

"You would have signed your own death warrant if King Candy ever decides to conduct a spot check, Swizzle! Lemme tell you, I'm not bailing you out for your stupidity if it happens!"

"Oh, please. He won't do a check, trust me!" Swizzle assured as he turned and walked out to the main station, with Rancis hastily running after him and Gloyd comfortably strutting behind them.

A red flash and alarm suddenly stopped them in their tracks, causing a pale blue person to materialize by their side. "Name?" The blue-tinted bespectacled person queried the group, droning the question in a manner not too dissimilar to Sour Bill, except it wasn't all that monotonous compared to Bill.

"That guy's the Surge Protector," Swizzle whispered back when he saw Rancis looking faint. "He's the security guy around this place."

Gloyd tilted his head, hissing into Swizzle's ear. "So that guy's sorta like Wynnchel and Duncan?" There was a short pause before he smiled. "Thanks for the head's up, Swizz!" he chortled with a thumbs-up. "Now I'll know to stay _very_ far away from him after all the times I made those two mad in the past."

"Name, please." Surge repeated, waiting for an answer.

Swizzle cleared his throat. "Huzzah! I'm Swizzle Malarkey, better known as The Swizz!" he responded blithely without missing a beat. "And standing behind me are Rancis Fluggerbutter and Gloyd Orangeboar!" he continued, enthusiastically pointing to each racer in turn.

"Huh. Weird names. I would have trouble enunciating them myself," he muttered as his eyes briefly went over to the trio of racers. "Nice headwear."

Gloyd subconsciously adjusted the stupendously large pumpkin that was perched atop his head. By contrast, Rancis simply smirked at Surge's comment, nodding with a self-satisfied smile as he took the remark as a thinly-veiled compliment.

Surge's vision flicked back to his clipboard as he made a note of their names on the paper with his pen. "So where're you lads coming from?"

"We're all from the super-epic amazing go-kart racing game, Sugar Rush!" Gloyd interjected before Swizzle could respond, chuckling when he saw Swizzle shaking his head in disappointment. Rancis wasn't too far off either, unable to believe that Gloyd had managed to exaggerate Sugar Rush's premise to the point where it sounded too zany to an outsider.

"Sugar Rush, huh?" Surge had a double-take that was almost imperceptible upon hearing the game's name, the blip of electricity peering intently at his clipboard. "Now that's weird… I haven't done a random security check on this game in ages…" he commented, a frown adorning his face as he stroked his chin with his free hand. "You lot don't leave your game often?"

Rancis visibly paled, his breath hitching in his throat upon hearing the question. No, no, no! If he decided to press more on the subject, the Surge guy might eventually end up asking King Candy as to why they racers don't leave the game often, tipping off their leader that the three of them had gone on an unwarranted joyride in Game Central Station.

It was all over! He was so totally doomed! Oh, the humanity!

But unlike the panicking Rancis, Swizzle calmly shook his head. "Not really," he admitted.

Surge raised an eyebrow at the nondescript answer, but went through the motions and checked the next question off his clipboard. He was on a schedule, after all. "So where're you lot headed to?"

Swizzle shrugged in response, his bored expression matching the drab colors of Game Central Station, the color scheme of the locale quite muted as compared to the vibrant palette and aesthetics of Sugar Rush. "To be frank, I don't really know. We're just browsing and chillin' about here, yo. Is there anywhere you can recommend for us?"

"Well, Tapper's a no-brainer. Good place if you just want to hang out, I've heard," Surge bluntly suggested to the trio without lifting his eyes off his clipboard. "Now if you excuse me, I need to head on over to Bubble Bobble. You may proceed," he said as he cleared the racers through, before turning into teal streak of electricity and blitzing away.

"See?" Swizzle winked at Rancis and Gloyd with a smug grin, bowing down slightly. "Piece of cake. Fooled security like a sly devil dog and managed to get myself some tasty info, to boot."

Gloyd laughed. "You're good, Swizz," he praised, "Handled it like a champ. That guy didn't even interrogate Rancis and I."

Rancis simply sighed at Swizzle's antics and took his first real look at Game Central Station. To be frank, it was quite different from what he'd expected after hearing Swizzle's stories about the place. Having lived in Sugar Rush his entire life, the plain colors of the central hub was a complete bore to him.

What reason was Swizzle hyping this place up for again?

"Hey, Rancis! Don't zone out unless you want me to get you with a joy buzzer!" Gloyd waved his arms about to catch his friend's attention when he saw Rancis adjusting his hair again. "Look, there's the Tapper place that guy was talking about," he gestured.

"Woo, sweet!" Swizzle hit the back of Rancis' neck with a hard pat and strutted over to the game's entrance. "Let's check it out, shall we?"

Rancis rubbed his neck with a wince before futilely raising his arm up in vain. "W-Wait up! Swizz, Gloyd! You don't seriously wanna going in there… we don't even know what kind of game it is! You're actually taking the words of some random security guy!? Come on, guys!"

With a subtle nod, Gloyd and Swizzle proceeded to make an unspoken argument to ignore the pouting Rancis, collectively fist pumping the other as they walked into the entrance to Tapper, which happened to be conveniently located right next to Sugar Rush's own entrance.

Running after them with an annoyed huff, Rancis eventually found the two seated in a tavern with four varnished wooden tables. He grinned when he saw that they were polished until he could see his reflection in them, thus taking the chance to ensure that he was still in tip-top condition.

Once satisfied, he strode over to the bottommost table, where his two friends had made themselves comfortable. Rancis sat down to the right of the two racers, observing that Gloyd was speaking to Swizzle with a contemplative expression on his visage.

"The blue décor around here is great. Jubileena once invited me to her house, and Citrusella's room looked just like this." Gloyd then spread his arms wide open for emphasis. "Sapphire blue. Sapphire blue everywhere, man."

"Hey!" Rancis scowled, folding his arms at them. "I know that you two can see me out of your peripheral vision. Don't ignore me!"

"Geez. We're sorry, Rancis," Gloyd grumbled, softly mumbling his apology.

"Yeah yeah, pretty boy." Swizzle chuckled, gesturing for Rancis to lean towards them. "Sorry we left you behind in Game Central Station. But hey, at least you knew how to follow us here."

Rancis wisely decided not to pursue the topic, instead turning back to glance to the other end of the tavern. "So, Root Beer Tapper's, huh?" he mentioned, looking at the large conspicuous sign behind them. "This place serves root beer as a beverage?"

"What a surprise." Gloyd rolled his eyes, before his face suddenly lit up. "Say, maybe it won't be root beer for long. Perhaps I can work a little magic…"

"Don't even try it, Gloyd. I'm not in the mood for a prank right now." Rancis shot daggers at the prankster, causing Gloyd to meekly hold his hands up in surrender.

"Okay, okay. Geez… calm down, Rancis." Gloyd's expression soon changed to that of a knowing smile though. "But at least I managed to get a rise out of you. Nice to have the old Rancis back. You were such a wreck out there in the open earlier. That was so unlike the vain you."

Rancis groaned. "Ugh, stop."

"Maybe all Rancis needs is a mug of root beer to clear his mind," Swizzle murmured, before raising his arm and voice to signal the bartender for service. "Hello? The three of us are thirsty! We could use a drink!"

He eventually quirked his head in confusion when he saw that the bartender was ignoring his call. "Hey, what gives?"

"Swizz, I think you better hold up. I think the drink guy's dealing with the commotion back there." Gloyd signaled to the others by discreetly gesturing his thumb towards the front most bench, where a large burly man dressed in red was pouring out his sorrows to… basically everyone in the tavern.

"I've never been more serious about anything in my life."

The sentence was so out of left field that all three racers could only give each other a disbelieving look, wondering exactly what had gotten the large-sized person in such a downcast mood.

From his current angle, Rancis could get a perfect view of the complaining man. But on the other hand, he couldn't actually get a good look at the barkeep as he had his back to them.

"That's why I came straight here, Tapper," he continued with an oversized fist propped against the tabletop. The three boys couldn't help but to crane their heads to hear the big man bemoaning his complaints to the bartender. "You've never given me a bum steer. Now, come on. Where can a guy like me go and win a medal?"

"Gee whizz…" Swizzle sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. "That's what got him so upset? I thought it was something more serious. Is he that desperate for a medal? That man sounds like he's never won anything before in his life."

Gloyd ruthlessly seized the opportunity to lightly punch Rancis in the shoulder. "Kinda like you, Rancis! You can relate to him, right?"

Rancis growled at his prankster friend's curt comment, even though it had been made in jest. "Low blow, pal," he muttered with a glare, "Low blow."

It was only when a mug of root beer slid past the three boys did they realize that they had been too caught up in their internal conversation to notice that the bartender had finished up his own conversation and was currently serving the drinks to everyone in the tavern.

Everyone except for them, that is, since they had been too busy talking amidst themselves to actually place an order.

"Hey, mister—" Swizzle raised his arm, only for Gloyd to hush him and signal him to lower his hand.

"Too late, Swizz." Beginning to get bored, Gloyd used his elbows to support his head as he let out a yawn. "He's back to consoling the big guy."

Rancis shook his head at that. Honestly, he'd expected better service himself.

"Okay. As you were saying?"

Rancis cocked his head as he paid attention to the conversation and noticed the bartender speaking for the first time. He certainly had a thick, unique accent to his voice.

The big red giant waited for the bartender to dust his hands off before continuing. "I was saying, I can't spend another thirty years living alone in the garbage… I'm not going back without a medal!" he incessantly insisted, hitting his enormous hands against the tabletop out of frustration.

The peanut butter-themed racer let out a weary sigh when he heard that. Honestly… he could relate to the man.

"Well, I don't know what to tell ya. Maybe somebody left a medal here." The bartender then used his free hand to point to the back of the tavern, "You're welcome to dig through the lost and found!"

The big red guy got to his feet and trudged towards the direction that the barkeep had gestured him towards, walking by the trio of racers as he made his way to the back. He raised a curious eyebrow when he passed them, but otherwise said nothing.

"So he's done now, right?" Swizzle asked as he saw the burly man swinging open the saloon door and disappearing down the corridor. When the doors swung back shut, he took that as his cue. "Sweet! Time to order." He raised his arm, waving it frantically. "Yo, mister bartender! Three root beers, on the double!"

"Alright, wait up. I'm comin'!"

The bartender walked towards their table, reaching for the keg and filling up three mugs of root beer to the brim. He was almost about to slide it across the bar when he suddenly paused, his eyes widening by a large margin.

"You."

All of them turned towards the barkeep at the single word, seeing him glaring furiously at them.

"What are you three doing here?" He frowned as he grunted at the trio, a maelstrom of emotions brewing within his blue eyes.

Rancis began to get an apprehensive feeling upon witnessing the bartender's reaction. Even Gloyd shot his friend a befuddled look in confusion. "What's going on? Why does he seem so angry?" he whispered to Rancis.

"Maybe he knows that you're planning to rig his root beer supply?"

"But I haven't even done that yet—"

Their subdued conversation was abruptly cut short when the bartender slammed the three full mugs down on the tabletop, startling the racers with the motion before he calmly sauntered towards them.

"Well, well, well…" The bartender slowly clapped his hands in a stiff, janky manner. "You three must have some serious guts to show up here in my tavern," he said in a serious tone, his footsteps reverberating throughout the floorboards as he walked.

Swizzle grinned. "Guts might be my middle name, but The Swizz is my first—"

"I said, what are you doing here?" The stout barkeep interrupted Swizzle with an accented voice as he twirled his mustache. "You're from Sugar Rush, am I right?" he demanded, quirking his head in a rigid fashion.

"H-How did you know?" Rancis stuttered, feeling uneasy at the bartender's perceptiveness.

"I'm not sure if you're trying to play punk with me, kid. I'd recognize anyone who's from Sugar Rush after what happened all those years ago." He shook his head, rubbing his temples as if he was suffering from a sudden migraine. "Especially after what you kids did to my place."

"Hey, Gloyd," Rancis whispered in a low voice. "Are you sure you never came here before?"

"I swear on my tastiest candy corn, Rancis," Gloyd answered with a perplexed expression. "I don't have a clue what he's talking about. I _did not_ prank this guy, honest!"

Hearing Gloyd's disaffirmation, Rancis proceeded to scrutinize the bartender's face. However, he found no signs of deceit in his expression at all, which was certainly worrying given that neither he nor his friends had any idea as to what the bartender's deal was.

Why did the bartender know them when none of them had any recollection of him? The only one who might know him was Swizzle as the daredevil had game-jumped before, but one look at Swizzle's face and Rancis could tell that he was hopelessly lost himself.

It didn't make sense!

"I should have known that she'd been playing me for a fool. Fifteen whole years I've waited on this defaulted payment…" the barkeep murmured as he wiped the polished surface of the bar with a rug. "But no more. With you three, I can finally close my ledger entry and be reimbursed for this bad debt. I suppose that I should thank you for it…"

Rancis stared at the barkeep as he droned on. Already he was wishing that Swizzle hadn't taken Surge's advice to head over to Tapper's.

"Heh!" the bartender grinned, leaving the rug on the table as he rubbed his hands together. "What do you know? Today will be the day that I'll finally be able to claim back the funds owed by my sneaky little debtor!"

He leaned towards the Sugar Rush racers, his blue eyes glinting under the light that was emanating from the numerous oil lamps scattered around the tavern.

"After all… _your princess owes me a thousand coins._ "

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Sooooo… I wrote too much angst in my other ongoing WiR fic. Hence, I'm starting up a significantly more lighthearted story to compensate for my inner nerves shattering when writing that one.

Originally this fic was initially born out of a desire to adapt Vanellope's epic trolling of the racers at the end of the first movie — albeit with my own twist on it since I'm very sure that the scene in question has already been adapted at least ten dozen times. Those who know me would know that I prefer to write new ideas that have not been penned down before, so yeah.

But as you can clearly see, it completely became a thing of its own. This story started out as a oneshot, and then it became a multi-chapter slice-of-life, and now it is a standard multi-chapter AU. Was supposed to be Swizzle-centric, too, but somehow became Rancis instead.

Anyway, despite all of the changes, I do hope that you like the general idea! See you soon!


	2. The Fifteen-Year-Old Debt

**Chapter 2: The Fifteen-Year-Old Debt**

"…your princess owes me a thousand coins."

There was silence as the bartender concluded his statement. The three boys gaped at him slack-jawed, which prompted him to glower back at them in response.

_Princess…? What princess!? We don't have a princess in Sugar Rush!_

That was literally Rancis' first thought.

He was not the first person to vocalize the thought, however. Gloyd's skeptical voice rang throughout the tavern before Rancis could even get a single word out.

"Ha! Could've fooled me!" Gloyd chuckled, banging his palms against the polished wood as he keeled over the table in laughter. "Sorry, Mr. Bartender, but you should have bothered doing your research before trying to pull the wool over my eyes," he managed to say, still chortling. "Sugar Rush doesn't _have_ a princess!"

"Oh, is that really the case?"

Rancis grew uneasy, hunching back when he saw the amused bartender confidently flash a I-know-something-you-don't smirk in response to Gloyd, the man's large nose and clean-cut brown hair (not as good as his own, though) only adding fuel to the fire. "Now that's a funny statement for you to make…" the barkeep drawled, drumming his fingers on the table as he continued on, "…considering that said princess was the one who'd bailed your sorry hinds out in the first place."

Swizzle was the next to show the bartender a humored expression. "Look, mister. I think we'd definitely remember if an imaginary princess were to bail us out of our antics." He shot Gloyd a knowing look, no doubt thinking about the numerous times that they were forced to flee for their lives when they took their jokes on the female racers way too far. "It was a good attempt, but I think you can lay off with the jokes now," he chuckled, trying to play it off.

Unfortunately, the bartender wasn't amused by Swizzle's attempt to deflect his question. "You young'uns really think you can get out of this by feigning ignorance, eh?" he asked, ferociously narrowing his blue eyes at the seated racers. The three boys, already on edge, were suddenly caught off guard when he let out a humored chortle. "Well, if you wanna play it that way, be my guest. We'll see who wears the other down first…"

The barkeep shook his head, reaching for a stool as he sat his haunches down on it. "Still, I must apologize. I shouldn't forgo my usual pleasantries just because of you incessant lil' troublemakers."

"Incessant lil' troublemakers?" Gloyd mouthed to Rancis with a hushed whisper, echoing the barkeep's words in a tone which made it blatant that he took offense from the description.

Rancis was quick to reply. "Hey, fits you to a T," he pointed out, causing Gloyd to huff and frown in response.

The bartender cleared his throat when he saw that Gloyd and Rancis were distracted, causing the two to look back at him. "And now that I have your full attention, the name's Tapper. Root Beer Tapper," he introduced with a janky nod of his head. "I own this here joint," he said, using his arm to proudly gesture around the area, "and if you want to be technical — this entire game is mine as well."

"Congrats." Swizzle clapped his hands sarcastically, still unnerved at being approached like this on one of his game-jumping trips. It was glaringly clear to Rancis that in spite of what his friend's calm demeanor might imply, this was a situation that Swizzle had never dealt with before.

"We would have known that little tidbit from the name of the game itself, genius," Gloyd added, earning a chuckle from Swizzle.

Tapper swiveled his body around, not amused by the joke. "So, final call. Why are you three here at my bar, innocuously ordering root beer when your princess owes me an astronomical debt? Sixty-two gallons of root beer don't come cheap, mates. I already did you all a favor by absorbing the other costs for all the damages that you pests caused to me and this here place, but for her to go AWOL on me even after all of that…"

His eyebrows furled in frustration. "…now _that's_ something," he added as an afterthought.

"Come on, now!" Gloyd folded his arms, the first traces of irritation beginning to show. "Don't try to mess with me and my friends! There ain't no princess who stole money from you! I already told you, we don't have a princess in Sugar Rush!"

Even Swizzle piped up in agreement. "That's right, dude. We really don't have a princess! King Candy's our ruler!"

Rancis was about to add a third dissenting opinion, but Tapper snorted before he could voice out against the bartender.

"Playing hard to get, hm?"

Rancis looked at Tapper incredulously, unsure of what to make from his spiteful tone. "I'm sorry…?"

"Frankly, I'm not sure if you boys are faking that you don't know what I'm talking about, or if it'd happened so long ago that you legitimately forgot." Tapper wiped his brow, before holding his head up high with a smirk. "Too bad for you clowns, though. I have video evidence and an IOU that says otherwise."

"Hold up a second… you have _what_?" Rancis felt his voice wavering as he trailed off upon hearing Tapper's claim. The bartender's collected composure only further added to his unease. "Wait, you're serious? You're not pulling our leg?"

"I'm totally, one-hundred percent serious about this." It was this point that Tapper sighed and averted his eyes. "But unfortunately, I'd given up hope on ever recovering the debt until you three showed up. You see, I have never seen a single person from Sugar Rush come in here ever since that day. Fifteen whole years, pard. Can you blame me for thinking that?"

Tapper looked despondent as he leaned on the surface of the bar. "So to be honest, I… misplaced the tape and the IOU."

Rancis was actually surprised at his confession. It was the first time in the entire conversation that Tapper hadn't been confrontational. In fact, he had seemed ashamed to say those words.

"You misplaced your own evidence?" Gloyd folded his arms suspiciously, a glint in his eye. "But that means you have no proof," he noted, a sneaky smile forming on his face.

Tapper adjusted his bowtie. "Well, you have my word for it. Your princess owes me a thousand coins."

"Your word? That's all we have to go on?" Rancis unconsciously muttered under his breath, a skeptical look adorning his face.

At first, there was no obvious reaction. However, Tapper's face changed all of a sudden, growing very dark from his insinuation. Rancis couldn't help but to shiver, feeling the atmosphere change as the air grew brittle.

Tapper polished an empty mug with his cloth, placing it on the tabletop with a _clack_. "Let me make one thing very clear, mister. Because of my job, I hear lots of stories from people who sit down to drink. When people come down here to relax, they tell me… things." The barkeep cringed — ever so slightly, but the motion was there. "Things that they don't tell anyone else."

A hint of darkness crept into the bartender's voice, but it was obscured and hidden away before any of the three Sugar Rush racers could comment on it.

"But the two things which I would never do is to use that knowledge for my own advantage or mislead others with that info by telling a customer a deliberate lie. I adamantly refuse to do such vile, cruel acts," Tapper murmured.

Swizzle subtly gestured to get Rancis' attention. "Hey… isn't this guy going off topic?" he mouthed to his friend, "Weren't we talking about the nonexistent princess? Why's he headed off on a tangent?"

Rancis simply shushed Swizzle, shooting him a shrug in return to show that he had no clue with regards to Tapper's behavior either. Admittedly, part of him was curious as to what had gotten the barkeep so riled up and made him switch the topic from the debt that he had been so hard up about earlier on.

Was it something that he'd said?

"We have a certain level of trust here in my tavern. Whatever happens in Tapper's, stays in Tapper's." Tapper made sure to stress the statement, prompting a few nods from others who were listening in. "My patrons have faith in me to be a listening ear while they rant at me and spill all their secrets, and in return I will adhere to basic decency by keeping the contents of the conversation between us, thereby maintaining their trust and respect."

Rancis found himself unconsciously gaping at the bartender in stunned silence as Tapper spoke his heart out. He'd never expected to hear something like this, and it honestly made him feel a little jealous. Maybe it was because of Sugar Rush's gender inequality, but he knew for a fact that if something juicy were to happen within their game, it wouldn't be long before everyone would learn every last detail through the grapevine.

The gossip train was to be _feared_. Rancis had been a hapless victim of it before, and thus knew just how brutal and efficient it was.

"Point is, I stand by my morals," Tapper continued to ramble, wiping his brow with the cuff of his sleeve. "I mean, you go on over to Burger Time and see if any random chap will tell Chef Pepper their life secrets while dining there. Look kid, there's a reason that I have earned a reputation as the arcade's para-counsellor over the years."

Without any warning, he proceeded to slam both of his hands against the tabletop, causing everyone in the tavern to look at the group. All three of the boys flinched from the motion. It had not been telegraphed at all and none of them had expected the feeble-looking barkeep to lose his cool like that.

Silence filled the entire tavern, the peace eventually being broken only by none other than Tapper himself.

"So when I say that I give my word, you _better_ believe it. Root Beer Tapper does not give his word lightly." He stood up in a swift motion, knocking the stool back as he locked eyes with Rancis, unwavering blue eyes meeting hesitant ones. "You got that, boy?"

Rancis hastily nodded with a gulp. The fact that Tapper had hissed those words out without raising his voice ironically made them have more of an impact as compared to say, if the outraged Tapper had hurled insults at him. If that had been the case, Rancis might have treated his speech like one of Taffyta's snide taunts — in one ear, out the other.

With a sigh, Rancis glanced to his left and noticed that Tapper's speech had also managed to have a profound impact on his friends as well. Swizzle had a contemplative look on his face, and even the agitated Gloyd appeared to be docile for now, momentarily deep in thought.

"So…" Rancis started, choosing his words to Tapper carefully. "I believe you."

"Rancis!"

He winced when he saw Gloyd glaring at him. His friend looked absolutely betrayed, causing Rancis to make a mental note to apologize to him later.

"That's good." Tapper exhaled. "Now that we've got that out of the way. I need you to do a favor for me—"

"No way, hoser!" Gloyd was fuming now, his orange cheeks glowing with genuine anger as he cut Tapper off. "I've taken your nonsense for far too long, but now I've had it! We. Are. Leaving!"

"I would not recommend that." Rancis shivered when he saw that Tapper's eyes had hardened as he spoke. He had a resolute expression plastered on his face, one which reminded Rancis of what he dubbed as Taffyta's I'm-gonna-win-and-there's-nothing-you-can-do-about-it face.

Gloyd stood up, his patience long gone. "Watch me leave," he deadpanned, making a face at Tapper while the other patrons looked on in shock. "Rancis, Swizz. Let's move!"

Tapper shot the three boys a shrewd look. "Oh, I'm afraid you fellas aren't going to weasel your way out of this that easily…" he said as he snapped his fingers. The noise, despite being relatively soft, reverberated around the entire tavern like a judgement coming from the programmers themselves.

As if on command, an entire group of cowboys entered through the multiple saloon doors. In a synchronized manner, they surrounded the table, causing all of the Sugar Rush racers to freeze in their tracks.

"It helps to have friends." Tapper explained, reaching for a keg and filling a mug up with root beer before sliding it over to one of the cowboys. "These are the rowdy ruffians who come to my bar during arcade hours. They work for me… at a price."

"Is that a challenge?" Gloyd fired back at him, staring down the cowboys with a smug look on his face. Rancis gawked at his friend, stunned. He wasn't the least bit fazed by the bartender's threat. Frankly, Rancis felt like after all of the crazy pranks he'd pulled off, the prankster's nerves had ended up being as large as the pumpkin on his head.

Swizzle looked like he was ready to fight his way out too, causing Rancis to swallow his saliva with a tinge of fear. He placed an elbow on the tabletop, beginning to feel faint. He never was good at brawls.

His eyes flickered to the saloon doors, briefly contemplating if he could escape from the situation that he'd found himself in. "You can't do this to us!" he finally managed to get out.

"Believe me. I don't want to, but I have to…" Tapper sighed. "It's not even about the money, honestly," he said, surprising all three of them. The way he'd broached the topic the whole time had led to them likening him to a relentless creditor throughout the conversation.

"It's not?" Rancis questioned him, shocked by this new information.

Tapper wiped his brow, heaving a sigh. "No. I mean, it'll be great to recover the money for financial purposes, but the reason I want the money back is more personal." He paused, looking at them intently. "It's because your princess took advantage of my trust and smashed it into smithereens." He slammed his fist on the table agitatedly, causing a few mugs to shake. "The very fact that you had the gall to appear in my tavern is proof that she's been laughing at me for the past fifteen years!"

Rancis digested the information, glancing to his left to see his friends' reaction to Tapper's spiel.

A single glance was able to tell a lot. He could see that Swizzle was still thinking if he could backflip off of the cowboy henchmen, while the slight twinkle in Gloyd's eye meant that he was probably thinking of some payback prank to pull for revenge.

"As I was saying, I'll let you off on one condition."

Those words were like the Jumbotron announcing the final results of a race. All of their eyes were drawn to Tapper immediately.

Seeing that he was now the center of attention, Tapper lowered his voice, the dim light of the tavern only serving to make him appear more ominous. "Y'all go back to your game and find your princess. One way or another, you better get her to pay what she owes me back in full — one thousand gold coins."

"But we don't have a…" Swizzle tried to insist, trailing off when he saw the stubborn look on Tapper's face. "…never mind." He dropped the topic, giving up.

With a smile, Tapper snapped his fingers, prompting the aggressive cowboys to back away and give the bartender and the racers some space.

Tapper reached into a pocket in his blue overalls and pulled out a small, black flip phone, placing it on the table before sliding it over to Rancis. "Good thing I always keep one of these things with me," he muttered as Rancis picked it up, examining the device.

Swizzle tilted his head in confusion as Rancis turned the slick black device around. "What is this thing, man?"

"It's a cell phone, kid," Tapper said impassively. "One of those classic models from the '80s." He lifted his left arm to reveal a second, identical phone in his hand. "We use it for contact. I know the number of the phone that I just gave you, but you can get me at 1-800-827-7377," he recited off the top of his head, taking a napkin emblazoned with the name of his tavern and writing down his contact on it using a ballpoint pen.

Hesitantly taking the napkin from Tapper, Rancis proceeded to shove it in his chocolate-coated blazer, slipping it in an inner pocket alongside the clunky phone. He could clearly discern from Tapper's actions that the bartender didn't expect them to remember the number by heart.

In fact, the look of disdain on Tapper's face told Rancis that he was very much aware that he was forcing them to do something against their will. There was a brief flash of discomfort on Tapper's face which hinted to Rancis that coercion wasn't something he did often.

"Don't lose the phone." Tapper strode off, leaving the trio to themselves again as he went back to the kegs at the back of the tavern. "I've got work to do now, so you can go. Don't show your face around me again until you have the money. I'm giving you one week before I send the Surge Protector after you. Now scram!"

The Sugar Rush racers didn't need to be told that twice. On Tapper's command, they sprinted out of the tavern and didn't look back.

Rancis was surprised that he was able to take such big strides while outside of his kart. He supposed that fear had an innate ability of doing that to a person.

As the beige walls of Game Central Station slowly came into view, Rancis never felt more glad in his life. It wasn't Sugar Rush, but it was so much better than the dark, dim atmosphere that permeated through Tapper's.

In fact, Rancis ran so fast that he slammed right into something cold and metallic. He fell to the ground, clutching his head in agony before letting out a strangled cry when he saw what he'd run into.

"Hey, Rancis. Are you ok-ay…" Gloyd caught up to him, before sheepishly kicking his feet and stumbling on his words when he saw that his friend had slammed into the leg of a menacing man at least four times their size. The dull, metal-plated armor that surrounded his entire body was just icing on the cake.

"Hey! Watch it!" the large-sized armored man sneered, causing Gloyd and Swizzle to hover away. But upon seeing that he had scared the minuscule children away, he softened his face and mellowed his tone. "Damn, you scared me, kid!" he admitted with a chuckle to Rancis, who was still sprawled out on the ground. "I thought that Kohut or Sarge managed to catch me sneaking out of Hero's Duty without express permission."

"Sorry! I-I didn't mean to hit you!" Rancis scrambled to his feet and backed away, holding his arms out at the man apologetically.

The bulky man gave a small nod to thank the diminutive boy before walking along. "Man, I really need a drink…" the gray space marine moaned before his voice went into a monotonous drone as he slinked away. "We are humanity's last hope. Our mission, destroy all Cy-Bugs. We are humanity's last hope. Our mission, destroy all Cy-Bugs…" he slurred continuously, repeating those words over and over again until he was out of sight, disappearing into the entrance to Tapper's.

"Okay?" Swizzle muttered. "What was that all about?"

"I dunno, but I want out of this place!" Rancis then proceeded to angrily fold his arms at Swizzle. "Before I forget… you lied to me, Swizzle! You said that our trip to Game Central Station will be exciting and uneventful! This is literally the exact opposite of what you promised me!"

Swizzle shrugged, frowning as he gazed back at the entrance to Tapper's game. "I can't predict the future, man. I just react to the powerups which life deals to me on a daily basis. That's the way I roll."

"Let's just head back to Sugar Rush." Gloyd gestured towards the entrance of their game, making his way to it while dragging his feet. "I've had it with this place myself."

Rancis nodded, rushing for the entrance. However, right before he entered, he heard a chime coming from his blazer.

"Yo… it's the phone, Rancis!" Swizzle exclaimed. "Pick it up!"

Rancis pulled it from his pocket, fumbling with the device but eventually managing to answer the call. "Hello?" he answered with his usual cool voice. "Who is this?"

"Who else?"

"T-Tapper?" His calm composure instantly shattered.

A vaguely proud voice rang through the speaker. "Heh. You actually picked up. Within three rings, too. Good etiquette, boy. I must say, I'm frankly impressed."

Rancis felt a chill go down his spine when he realized that Tapper was actually talking to him. He glanced around Game Central Station, debating if he should put the call on speaker so that Gloyd and Swizzle could hear the conversation between them.

Eventually he relented and did so when he saw that the locale was relatively vacant, meaning the chance of anyone listening in was low. "What do you want?" Rancis asked, biting his lip.

"Just checking that you won't bail on me."

Gloud mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, "crazy prepared brat". Rancis ignored his friend's complaint, holding the phone closer to his ear. His hands clammed up as he tightly gripped the device. "D-Don't worry. We'll get the money, we swear!"

"Rancis, was it?" Tapper appeared to hesitate, stumbling as the name rolled off his tongue. Rancis froze for a moment, wondering just how Tapper knew his name when he suddenly recalled that his name had been mentioned by Gloyd in front of the bartender at least twice.

"Y-Yes, Mr. Tapper?" he responded, a nervous stutter in his voice.

"Don't forget… one week. That is all my patience will allow. Now that I know that your princess had deliberately broken my trust by defaulting on her payment, I will not relent in pursuing the return of my rightful funds." Tapper sounded so furious that Rancis was able to hear his ragged breathing over the line. "You heard what I said about trust earlier, didn't you? I think you can understand where I'm coming from."

Rancis nodded, forgetting that Tapper couldn't actually see his acknowledgement over the phone. He only realized his mistake when he saw Gloyd snickering at him. "Y-Yes!" he squeaked, his voice going high-pitched.

Gloyd and Swizzle both cackled at his faux pas before Rancis shot the two a warning glare. Before he could let the cheeky duo have it, Tapper's voice reverberated out of the speakers, his grim tone causing all of them to focus on the phone.

"Listen up, Rancis. I will _not_ be double-crossed by anyone from Sugar Rush again. You and your friends better keep to your end of the deal. Don't forget, while your princess currently owes me a thousand coins… it won't remain that way for long. It better not, for all of your sakes." Tapper paused tentatively, his voice growing contemptuous when he resumed speaking. "By the way… you said that King Candy was your ruler, correct?"

Crap. No, no, no. Not happening, not happening.

Rancis didn't even need to look at Gloyd and Swizzle to see that their expressions most likely mirrored his own. He was careful not to let any trace of reproach enter his voice, in spite of his growing frustration and terror. "Yeah… we did say that. King Candy's totally our king," he rasped. He didn't have the guts to deny the statement, and thus mentally began cursing Swizzle in his head for handing Tapper a smoking Sweet Seeker by casually bringing the information up in the conversation earlier.

This had been his worst fear the instant Tapper had confronted them, and now it looked like it could very well become a reality. After all, he didn't want the bartender potentially tipping off King Candy, which would result in a very disappointed ruler waiting for them when they entered Sugar Rush.

A disappointed King Candy was never a good thing. Despite being perpetually jolly and goofy a good ninety percent of the time, the remaining ten percent where he'd seen King Candy legitimately angry at something or someone still gave Rancis the shudders.

"I have lots of contacts. If need be, I'll pop by over to Sugar Rush—on business and off-hours, of course—and demand payment from him myself should you three exceed your time limit."

Rancis let out a breath that he didn't even know he was holding. Tapper wasn't going to tell King Candy after all, thank mod! His panic, however, returned tenfold when he processed the latter half of the statement.

The situation had just gone from bad to worse.

"So if you know what's good for you, you best get his daughter to comply."

"Wait!" Rancis yelped. "But King Candy doesn't have—"

The line proceeded to go dead as Tapper hung up, a beeping dial tone the only remaining hint of the dire conversation that had just transpired.

"…a daughter."

"Whup," Swizzle shrugged, a goofy smile on his face. "We are so screwed," he helpfully supplied, Gloyd chuckling at the morbid joke before strutting into the entrance to Sugar Rush.

As he followed Swizzle, Rancis was only certain about one thing — Tapper was serious about reclaiming his money.

But now, the stakes were higher than ever before.

King Candy could not afford to know. If it ever came down to Tapper trying to reclaim his thousand-coin debt from him, their entire adventure would be revealed to Candy, guaranteeing them a stay in the Fungeon for sure.

"How did things come to this?" Rancis pouted. "I'd like to know, please."

Neither Gloyd nor Swizzle answered him.

A distraught Rancis finally trudged along after them, trying to keep his fretting of King Candy finding out to a minimum, lest he end up a total wreck.

But amidst all of the emotions which surrounded his mind like a raging hurricane, one constant thought continued to permeate through all of his concerns.

_I know Gloyd and Swizzle don't buy a word he says, but Tapper is so insistent that I just feel like he's telling the truth. Someone must really owe him a thousand gold coins… man, that's a fortune. No wonder he's mad._

Rancis furrowed his brow.

_But if that the case, then it means that… Sugar Rush actually has a princess?_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Surprise! Bet you weren't expecting events to take a turn like that, huh?

I have a sneaky suspicion that Tapper revealing a certain someone's true heritage *cough* was what most of you were expecting after last chapter's cliffhanger… but nope! Not going to take the plot in such an obvious direction or make it _that_ easy for our poor protagonists. Where's the fun in that?

But to be fair, back when this was conceived as a concise oneshot, Tapper _would_ have flat out told Rancis and co. exactly who Sugar Rush's princess actually was. But now that this is no longer a oneshot… heh heh heh… I'm so evil.

As of now, Tapper has managed to recruit the three boys—against their will—for the explicit purpose of collecting a thousand coins back for him from their game's "princess". But since there's no princess, how can Rancis and his friends possibly raise the money without raising suspicion? Stay tuned to find out!


	3. A Princess Dilemma

**Chapter 3: A Princess Dilemma**

The cotton candy-filled skies of Sugar Rush had never been more welcome to Rancis before this point.

Home sweet home. It sure did feel like it. After the nerve wrecking experience that Swizzle had put him through, Rancis swore he would never take the cozy environment of Sugar Rush for granted ever again.

He let his sky-blue eyes apprehensively sweep around the area, but to his utmost relief he saw no hints of any possible ambush. There were no signs of King Candy or his two trusty guards, Wynnchel and Duncan. Rancis visibly relaxed, heaving a sigh of relief once he was armed with the knowledge that he was safe… at least, for now.

With his immediate concerns now taken care of, Rancis found himself unfurling, his mind slowly wandering off to other pressing matters.

" _After all… your princess owes me a thousand coins."_

Tapper's words continued to ring throughout his head, swarming his thoughts like an unwanted buzzer. He couldn't get it out even if he'd wanted to — the bartender's statement worded in such a way that it almost felt like an accusation to Rancis.

_Your_ princess.

Yet again, Rancis couldn't help but to groan, his addled brain not helping matters. This really was a conundrum. For Tapper's words to be true, Sugar Rush _must_ have had a princess at some point.

But since when? Or how? And perhaps, most importantly… _who_?

Rancis breathed heavily, the weight of all this newfound knowledge starting to get to him. Either some unbelievable conspiracy was going on behind the scenes… or he was going crazy. Neither of the two boded well.

He trudged onwards in silence. Physically silent, that is.

Mentally was another story altogether.

The many questions regarding the mysterious Sugar Rush princess who Tapper claimed actually existed were unable to leave his head, unrelentingly swarming his thought processes. Trying to disregard the topic was like trying to shake off an oncoming Sweet Seeker — nigh impossible.

Yeah, Rancis didn't like those homing powerups when they were used against him. No one did, actually. They racers only liked Sweet Seekers when they were the ones firing them off, yet despised the exact same homing powerups when they were on the receiving end of one.

Wholesome irony. Much like the situation they were in right now.

Rancis began to brood. The silence ate at him until he eventually felt the need to speak up in an attempt to break the tension that surrounded them.

"You know, this is technically all your fault, Swizzle."

Swizzle gave a carefree shrug in response to being called out, which was quite the opposite reaction from what Rancis would have preferred to see. "Can't blame me for this, Rancis. Didn't know that the guy was going to be a major troublemaker," he grumbled as he walked past the welcome sign to their game, the landmark signaling to Rancis that their perilous trek through the rainbow bridge into Sugar Rush was now over and done with.

But just because he was now in the clear didn't mean that he was going to let his friend off scot-free. "Don't try to absolve your responsibility! I'm not letting you weasel your way out of this one! If you hadn't went game-jumping, none of this would have happened!"

"True…" Swizzle admitted, causing Rancis to clench his fists at his apparent indifference. For the love of peanut butter, why was he being so callous?! Rancis had to physically restrain himself from hitting Swizzle, because personality and code-wise, doing that would be a very out-of-character thing for _Rancis_ to do.

Thus, he compromised by settling for verbally nagging at that old-so-reckless troublemaker instead. The Swizz strikes again, indeed…

"This is your fault, Swizzle," Rancis whined at him with an accusatory tone. "And now you dragged us into your mess! If you'd just went down there alone, me and Gloyd would be chilling right now, instead of worrying about collecting some debt from… a princess…"

Swizzle appeared amused when Rancis trailed off, although the amusement was wiped cleanly off his face the instant Rancis began to panic. "Gah, I can't believe it! I'm so stupid! I legitimately forgot to ask Tapper for the name of the princess!" He began to ramble, "It was totally my fault, he caught me off guard with his whole 'trust and honesty' tirade—"

"Rancis." Gloyd harshly cut him off, looking at him with irritated eyes. "You don't seriously believe that bartender about this whole 'princess' thing, do you?" he asked, lowering his voice.

Swallowing a gulp, Rancis nodded apprehensively, which prompted both Swizzle and Gloyd to stare at him.

"Bro… really?" Swizzle deadpanned, folding his arms. "Are you nutty? You didn't even second-guess Tapper's words?"

Gloyd sighed in exasperation when he saw Rancis quirking his head in confusion. "Look, Rancis. Don't tell me you actually buy into the idea of a princess existing?"

When Rancis didn't give him a direct response, the infuriated Gloyd decided to go for the jugular, stating exactly what he thought about the matter. "Buddy, a part of you eagerly clings on to this dumb idea because you're so vain that your code probably thinks that only a prim princess would suit your tastes."

Rancis raised a finger up, trying and failing to come up with a counter-argument on the spot. After all, Gloyd wasn't actually _wrong_.

He shivered at the thought, feeling a tinge of red lighting up his cheeks. The boy didn't want to admit how blissful it was for his weak-willed mind to partake in a fantasy of having a mysterious princess sweep him cleanly off his feet. It was something new, something that broke routine after dealing with fifteen years of the same races and the same sense of victory being cruelly robbed from him and man was he getting tired of that—

Realizing that his mind was wandering way off topic, Rancis cut his train of thought, shattering his fantasy and forcefully reminding himself that it was all just wishful thinking. He snapped back to reality and saw Gloyd expectantly waiting for an answer. But after everything that his mind had conjured up, the only thing that his mouth was able to say was a fumbled, "Uh…"

"That's all you have to say?" Gloyd quirked his head. "An indecisive 'uh'?"

"But—"

"No buts, Rancis!" Gloyd snapped. "Geez, even Crumbelina can't stand your obnoxious pretty-boy behavior on days where you really got it bad. And she's supposed to be the posh one!"

Rancis preened, deciding to take Gloyd's insults as unprecedented praise. "Hey! It's not my fault that I was coded to be handsome!" he gushed without the slightest hint of shame.

"…handsome enough to swoon over a princess who doesn't even exist." Gloyd was scowling, tapping his finger by his chin when he saw that Rancis wasn't actually denying any of his allegations, which meant that they might hold some water. "Hey, Rancis…" His voice softened, all traces of his instigating tone vanishing. "I'm going to tell you this as someone who's successfully managed to prank everyone in this entire game until the candy cows went home."

He placed both of his hands on Rancis' shoulders, looking at his friend firmly in the eye. "That bartender guy was simply playing an elaborate ruse on us. I mean, how can we possibly have a princess when we don't even know a single thing about her?"

Rancis found himself tongue-tied at his question. "W-Well… maybe…"

Gloyd rolled his eyes. "There's no need to overthink it. The answer's clear as day, Rancis. We don't have a princess, man. Tapper's simply trying to hoodwink us."

"I agree with Gloyd here," Swizzle piped in. "Dude, I also don't think Sugar Rush has a princess," he concurred with a nod in Gloyd's direction, "I mean, King Candy's our ruler, and last I heard, he's single."

Rancis shuddered at the thought. "For the better."

"But Swizz's right… there _is_ no princess. The guy's an amateur," Gloyd complained, releasing his grip on Rancis as he turned around, folding his arms in disgust. "He tried to trick us and yet he doesn't even know that our game doesn't have a princess! Even letting that fundamental mistake slide, he didn't even do a good job at executing the scam. This Tapper said he had video proof of this 'princess' to try and convince us before immediately trying to hand wave it off by saying he couldn't find it. And in the end, we just took his word for it because he practically blackmailed us."

Rancis quickened his pace to walk alongside Gloyd, who was beginning to walk into Candy Cane Forest, cutting through the woods so that they'd get to their destination faster. "Blackmail?" he repeated.

"Yeah. It's basically blackmail," Gloyd grumbled. "He knows there's no princess, but acted as though there is one and spun the whole story on a whim to go with it. And the worst part is that we can't even argue against his flawed logic else King Candy will find out and punish us."

Gloyd's eyes briefly went over to Swizzle, who merely chuckled in response. "I swear… he must have somehow known that no one from Sugar Rush is allowed out of the game. That's why he pulled this stunt on us! Man, this sucks!" He shook his head in disappointment before snorting for good measure. "Pfffttttt. I'll grade his plan a D for effort. If he didn't imply that King Candy will know of this, I would have left his place laughing at how bad his acting was."

"So why didn't you?" Rancis was legitimately curious about this, considering that he wouldn't put it past Gloyd to do something like that.

"Because he managed to get the last laugh, duh. He got us — hook, line, and sinker," Gloyd growled, flinging his arms to his sides in exasperation. "So now, we actually have to pay him a thousand coins or we're all finished!" He let his words sink in before whirling onto Rancis with anger in his eyes.

"Worse, we can't tell King Candy about that punk else we'll get thrown into the Fungeon for disobeying him in the first place. Plus, we can't call the bartender out on his cavity nonsense or he'd go straight to King Candy and the exact same thing will happen. Can't you see, Rancis? We just got blackmailed into being in cahoots with a consummate liar and forced to pay him a thousand-coin ransom just so he'd shut his mouth!"

Just as Gloyd calmed down from his rant, a raspy voice from above broke the silence.

"You guys got blackmailed into paying someone one thousand coins? Ahahahaha! Now that's rich, pun totally intended!"

All three of them froze on the spot.

Oh, crap. Mod no. They had just been overheard. This was _so_ not good.

Trying his best not to go bonkers, Rancis willed himself to looked at the source of the voice.

Only when his eyes met the brown eyes of a girl who was dressed in green did Rancis allow himself to panic. "It's the glitch!" he yelped as he focused on the girl in the question, seeing the scraggly girl hanging out on a branch above.

It was official — today was not his day. What were the odds, really? "Crud, crud, crud!" he whined, "She heard us! Oh man, what if the glitch sells us out to King Candy out of spite!?"

"Since when were you ever scared of what the glitch could do?" Swizzle fired back, although a close look at his face betrayed the dark-skinned racer's own nervousness.

"Since now!" Rancis yelled, losing his usual calm composure as he found himself wrought with fear. Literally anyone else finding out was better. At least he and his friends would have been able to have some damage control and prevent rumors from spreading if that had been the case.

If it was one of their fans who found out, it would be easy to silence them. No one would believe a minor NPC anyway, and receiving a signed autograph from the racer whom they idolized would be a perfect bribe to keep them from talking. Even if one of the other racers found out about the misadventure, they'd still be fine. The girls were generally okay with the boys, and even Taffyta—who generally sucked up to King Candy—might still let the matter slide and close an eye given her long-standing 'partnership' with him and Candlehead.

Now the guards, especially Duncan and Wynnchel, would be a tougher challenge to keep quiet, but they had their ways. The three of them would volunteer for duty and plead to be model citizens until they agreed not to tell on them — it'd happened before. And as for Sour Bill… ha! Rancis had a feeling that if he were to somehow find out about this, he would not bother to report it to King Candy, bystander syndrome in full effect.

Plus, announcing their infraction would mean more work for him to handle, so Rancis knew he'd zip his mouth shut if it meant alleviating any potential additional workload.

To put it bluntly, Rancis had made plans in his head to deal with just about anyone if the jelly beans were ever spilled, with the exception of King Candy himself, of course.

But the glitch had slipped his mind.

Rancis had nothing on hand that could persuade her to keep her mouth shut, and he couldn't help but to shudder at how the tables had turned on him. The one who he'd always put down with the others now held innumerable power in her hands.

The worst part was that she knew it, too. The girl above them smirked, idly kicking her feet about as she sat on the branch. It was unusual for the glitch to be so peppy around them, but Rancis knew that the reason she was this way was because she had ammo with her this time. "What's wrong, guys? Aren't you going to gang up on me like you always do?" she asked, keeping up the smile.

Silence filled the area. None of the boys answered her, prompting her smile to grow exponentially wider.

"Maybe I should go and tell the others that you've been bad boys by sneaking out of the game," she threatened the trio of racers with a deceptively sweet voice, relishing the look of panic that crept onto their faces. "It'll be sweet, poetic revenge for everything that you've done to me!"

Rancis shivered at her words, taking in deep breaths. _The glitch knows that we went out of Sugar Rush? How much did she overhear? Gragh… I_ told _Swizz that this was a terrible idea!_

"She won't do it," Gloyd reassured Rancis with a pat on the back when he saw the usually level-headed boy hyperventilating. "King Candy will definitely arrest the glitch if she were to show her face in public before she can even say a single word that could implicate us."

"Gloyd's right, dude." Swizzle agreed, standing beside Rancis as a show of support. "Besides, even if she were to succeed in telling everyone, no one will take anything that comes out of the glitch's mouth seriously. Look, man… she has nothing on us. Even Tapper's a better blackmailer than her, and he's not even from our game."

"B-B-But…" Rancis stuttered, still looking frazzled. "They don't have to believe what the glitch says. Once the idea is in their heads, all it takes is for one person to connect the dots together…"

After all, there was always a chance, a random possibility that the stars would align and everything would go catastrophically wrong in spite of all the odds — he'd learned _that_ painful lesson from some absolutely abysmal Random Roster Races.

"You do know that I can hear everything that you're saying, right?" the glitch grumbled, sarcasm lacing her every word like whipped cream coated on crumbly cookies. "Yes, I can hear y'all bad-mouthing me. I'm not deaf, okay?"

Rancis jolted his head up to see the glitch with a very indignant expression. "Right now, I wish you were…" he hissed under his breath.

"Awww…" she winked, "…but if I couldn't hear you guys blabbering earlier on, I wouldn't be able to tease you three right now."

"Shut up! You just got lucky, rotten glitch!"

She found herself looking down at Rancis when she noted that the normally-calm boy had let a tinge of panic into his retort. Come to think of it, she mentally recalled that he had been behaving weirdly the whole time, and was currently the most flustered out of the trio to boot. The other two were significantly being more level-headed, which was rather ironic as she had painful memories of being targeted down by the other racers that suggested quite the opposite.

The Rancis that she remembered was a smug boy who was always by Taffyta's side, a far cry from the unsettled golden-haired boy that currently stood before her.

Oh, this was certainly going to be fun.

Without any hesitation, the dirty-haired girl decided to focus her full attention on the quivering peanut butter-themed racer. "Scared, Rancis?" she teased, "You look like you're gonna wet your pants!"

Rancis placed his hands to his cheeks, completely mortified by her insinuation. "I-I am not!"

She had a hearty chuckle at Rancis' denial, enjoying the sight of him squirming when she saw him stutter in a way which did more damage to himself than it did to her. "Oh, I'm definitely gonna enjoy taking you down with this, Rancis!" she cooed, laughing heartily as she pointed a finger at the boy, causing him to flinch when he realized that she was definitely singling him out.

"Y-You won't dare, glitch!"

"Try me, Fluggerbutter!" she cackled. "Man, after all the times that you, Candlehead, and Taffyta threw me under the kart over the past fifteen years, it'll be ironic justice to see posh ol' you get your just desserts! Ahahahaha! I'm growing giddy just thinking about it!"

Gloyd sighed, shaking his head when he saw Rancis go pale upon hearing the peals of laughter that were relentlessly coming from above. "You owe me one for this, buddy," he muttered, lifting up his pumpkin hat with both hands and whipping out a large cherry that was hidden snugly within its center.

"Huh!? Wait, the inside of your pumpkin hat is actually… hollow?" Rancis uttered incredulously, the shock of this new information surprising him out of his frightened stupor. He couldn't believe that he'd known Gloyd for fifteen years and yet somehow had not known of this. Even Swizzle appeared to be surprised by the development. The glitch had also stopped her taunting, so he could only assume that she was stunned into silence as well.

To be absolutely fair, he'd never seen Gloyd without his trademark pumpkin hat. He looked like a completely different person without it — his sharp brown hair wildly clashing against his jolly orange aura. Not to say that brown hair didn't suit Gloyd, but Rancis personally felt as though orange was a better color for his friend.

"Well, duh! Of course it's hollow!" Gloyd replied, stating the fact like it was the most obvious thing in the world as he replaced the oversized hat back to its rightful position. "I mean, where do you think I keep all my tools and gadgets for pranks? My jacket?"

Rancis and Swizzle both nodded at Gloyd in unison, prompting a shake of his head in feigned disappointment.

"Nope! The fabric's too small to fit all of my fancy gizmos," Gloyd explained, holding his arms wide open to show them that there was not much free room between his orange-striped jacket and the shirt underneath.

"Hey, pumpkins!" The glitch had her hands to her hip, looking at Gloyd thoughtfully. "Why do you have a cherry with you? Are you trying to steal Jubileena's thunder?" she suggested with mirth.

"None of your concern, glitch!" he shouted at her, before lowering his voice to a whisper as he picked up two broken candy canes from the ground and rubbed them together to start a small fire. "Doesn't beat a good flame from Candlehead's candle, but it'll do in a pinch."

Rancis pursed his lips uncomfortably as he began to put two and two together. "Wait… what are you-oh mod, no."

Gloyd chortled when he saw Rancis' face light up in comprehension.

Rancis could only shake his head in blatant disbelief. Sweet lollipops, Gloyd was actually going to use an explosive cherry to blow the tree that the glitch was in sky-high. Rancis would say that such a measure was overkill, but this was _Gloyd_ they were talking about. Put him and Swizzle together and the duo were a force to be feared.

With a practiced flourish, Gloyd lit the fuse of the cherry with the impromptu matchstick and tossed the armed explosive at the candy cane tree that the glitch had comfortably perched herself on.

"Cherry Bomb!" Gloyd yelled, making a hilariously bad impression of the announcer voice that was blared throughout races. "Jubi sends her regards!" he added as the lit cherry arced over to its target, the prankster proceeding to gesture at the befuddled glitch with a mock salute for emphasis when it landed on the base of the candy cane tree.

After chuckling at his little joke, Gloyd turned around, his face completely serious. "Take cover! It's gonna blow, boys!" he yelled, swiftly pulling a stunned Rancis and a grinning Swizzle away from the immediate area.

As Gloyd dragged him and Swizzle to safety, Rancis chanced a glance back and saw that the glitch had let a momentary flicker of shock creep onto her visage, mounting horror filling her hazel eyes when she realized the full implications of what Gloyd had just done.

She bristled and mouthed something which he couldn't decipher from this distance. But before Rancis could squint and get a closer look, the messy-haired girl expeditiously made her getaway, stealthily jumping away from the branch that she was currently on to one hanging from another candy cane tree.

And not a moment too soon. The next thing Rancis knew, there was a bright flash and chocolate mud was sent flying everywhere. He hurriedly closed his eyes and raised his free arm up to shield himself from the debris.

"W-Whoa!" he heard Gloyd cry before finding himself on the ground. Rancis rubbed his head, realizing that he must have lost his grip with Gloyd amidst the confusion.

A resounding thud was the next thing he heard. Using his hands to wave away the chocolate dust swirling around him, Rancis opened his eyes and was greeted with the remains of the smoldering candy cane tree, lying in a prone position on the ground about ten feet away from him.

_At least the stupid glitch bolted… yeesh, she gave me a near heart attack with her crazy threats!_

Rancis got to his feet, dusting off his attire. But before he could do anything else, Swizzle's voice made him stop cold.

"Rancis…" Swizzle was trying his hardest to stifle his laughter, but the giggles that escaped his mouth was proof that he'd failed quite hard in that endeavor. "Your hair…"

He felt his eyebrows twitching at Swizzle's words. It took him all of his willpower to keep his hands by his sides and not use them to feel his hair. "Please, I beg of you," Rancis pleaded with Swizzle, physically restraining himself from screaming all the way to the nearest mirror, "Don't tell me what my hair looks after that explosion. For the love of my sanity, please don't!"

But to his disdain, Swizzle ignored his frantic pleas. "Dude, you look like such a wreck right now!" he hollered, keeling over as bouts of laughter overtook him. "Oh man, where are the marshmallow camera crew when you need them? This image needs to be immortalized forever!"

Unable to control himself, Rancis frantically used his hands to caress his hair, squeaking in growing horror when he found chocolate stains everywhere. It didn't take him long to realize that all the melted chocolate that had landed on his beautiful golden hair was thanks to a certain pumpkin headed rascal.

"Gloyd!" Rancis howled, screaming bloody vengeance at the sheepish prankster. "You are _so_ dead!"

"Rancis… buddy!" Gloyd held his arms up to dissuade his friend, slowly backing away as Rancis stormed towards him. Even he knew that he'd crossed a line, as the one thing which Rancis held absolutely dear to him was his golden hair. "Look, I would never mess with your hair deliberately—"

Unfortunately for Gloyd, the normally-cool Rancis was unable to think straight at the moment. "Is that so?" he raged, wringing his fingers. "You think this is funny, Gloyd!? My hair is totally ruined!"

Gloyd wisely decided to back away. The movement wasn't subtle enough, however, causing Rancis to snarl at his friend's attempt to escape.

"Don't you dare try to fly the coop! Today sucked enough for me! It's payback time, Gloyd! Let's see how you like it when I mess with that precious hat of yours!"

Gloyd's eyes bugged out upon hearing Rancis' threat. "N-No! Not the pumpkin!" He vehemently shook his head at the thought of what Rancis could do to his precious headgear. It was at this exact point that Gloyd regretted having such an active imagination as a prankster, since the creative possibilities that his mind were coming up with started to overwhelm him the more he broached about the subject on hand.

Eventually, Gloyd couldn't take it anymore, his very own ideas of what Rancis would do to his hat eventually getting the better of him, causing him to lose his nerve. "You'll never take me alive, Rancis!" he yelped as he turned tail and ran for his life.

An indignant, screeching Rancis was quick to give chase.

Rather ironically, Gloyd's prank had managed to achieve its intended effect in the end. Seeing red at having his hair ruined, Rancis found that he hadn't spared much thought about the glitch possibly selling them out to King Candy. In fact, Tapper's threat, the humongous debt that had apparently been accrued, or the mysterious Sugar Rush princess wasn't on the boy's mind were all not on the forefront of his mind either — at the moment he was too busy furiously chasing after a fleeing, apologetic Gloyd.

In the end, being the sole person who could focus on his surroundings, Swizzle was the only one who managed to notice that the glitch hadn't actually left the vicinity at all.

The green-haired racer cocked his head curiously when he looked up and saw that the mint green-hoodie girl was intently watching Rancis pursuing Gloyd while sitting down on the branch of another candy cane tree, amusement twinkling in her hazel eyes as she observed their humorous antics from her vantage point above.

Those same eyes eventually fell onto an apprehensive and wary Swizzle. As if in response to the fact that her presence had been noticed, the girl's soft brown eyes hardened immediately, her form shimmering as she briefly glitched into pixelated blocks of blue code.

Taking in the sight, Swizzle inwardly cringed when he saw her flash into lines of neon 1s and 0s, the numbers filling her figure for just a moment. It was another harsh reminder that the petite girl could destroy virtually everything that he and his friends had worked for by being the equivalent of doomsday itself — a fatal flaw in the game's program.

A glitch. That was all she was, and all she'd ever be to the wary citizens and racers of Sugar Rush.

Nothing more, and nothing less.

But before the hardy Swizzle could raise the alarm by calling for Rancis or Gloyd, the glitch—Vanellope von Schweetz—blew a raspberry at him before jumping away, disappearing into the dense candy cane-filled forest and vanishing from sight.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Knock, knock. Who's there? Irony… all of the irony! Better get used to it! :D

Enter Vanellope, the feared "glitch" of Sugar Rush! I really enjoyed penning down her scene with Rancis and the others, so I hoped that you liked reading her ironic intro as much as I liked writing it.

Overall, this chapter was a blast to write — the previous chapter and this one were originally meant to be one, but I ended up splitting them for pacing purposes. After all, while the previous chapter was all plot and seriousness, there's lots of fluff and vitriolic bantering in this one. Actually, scratch that… there's _too much_ fluff. :p

There might be spots where the split is apparent, but I ironed out the kinks and do think that it worked out better in the end. If you didn't guess that the two chapters were split until I just mentioned it, then I've succeeded at my job! Still, I hope the tonal shift of the latter half of this chapter with Vanellope isn't too jarring. Because in spite of everything, Tapper's threat and the thousand-coin liability still looms upon the horizon…


	4. The Sugar Rush Princess?

**Chapter 4: The Sugar Rush Princess?**

Rancis felt his eyes widening in a mixture of shock and horror as he had an epiphany which rocked him to his very core.

"Oh my mod…" he muttered, his breath hitching as he felt the urge to slap himself. "I've worked it out…" Rancis continued in a soft voice, one that made it appear as though he was talking to himself. It almost seemed like he was afraid that saying it any louder would have devastating consequences. "I know exactly who the princess that Tapper is talking about really is. Melted caramel and chocolates, it's so obvious in retrospect!"

Swizzle raised a brow, stopping next to Rancis on the chocolate-dirt road. "Really? Who is it, Rancis?" he tentatively asked, an edge of caution in his voice. He got the feeling that Rancis' sudden mood change had nothing to do with the fact that Rancis managed to catch Gloyd a few minutes earlier, forcing him to apologize after the prankster's Cherry Bomb had detonated prematurely and singed Rancis' hair.

Rancis smugly gave his friend a wink. "Who else could it be? It's _gotta_ be Taffyta!"

"Uh, no."

Both Gloyd and Swizzle said the same two words back at Rancis in unison, equal looks of exasperation and disappointment on their faces.

Gloyd was the first to pound on him before Rancis could even try to defend his stand. "Nuh-uh! I see you raising your hand there," he interjected before Rancis could argue back. "Don't you even start, Rancis."

"B-but—"

Gloyd facepalmed. "Look, if Taffyta is secretly the Sugar Rush princess that lying bartender was insinuating about, I'd eat my hat."

Rancis folded his arms, furrowing his brow in response. After all, the prankster loved candy corn and pumpkins, so eating his own hat was not really a threat to Gloyd's well-being since he'd enjoy it. But before he could comment, Swizzle concurred with Gloyd by shooting Rancis an 'are you serious?' look.

"Yeah, dude. Like, really? Taffyta… _Princess Taffyta_? Like, you're _sure_ we are talking about same Taffyta here?" Swizzle shook his head, traces of amused disappointment very clear on his face. "Hate to break it to you buddy, but I think you spent way too much time hanging out with her, man. You're clearly seeing something that Gloyd and I do not."

"Well, I hang out with Taffyta by forced necessity," Rancis said as he dragged his feet. "Taffyta, Candlehead, and I are a trio," he continued, now trying to convince himself with his current words that the hypothesis that he'd blurted out earlier was the truth.

It didn't work.

The more Rancis thought about it, the more he realized that though it made sense at first glance, the illusion fell apart like shattered glass when put up to scrutiny.

Now that he was actually analyzing her character, he couldn't see someone like Taffyta being all prim and demure. Even when he was humoring a theoretical possibility, the very idea that Taffyta would behave like that was absurd — being humble and nice to others simply wasn't in Taffyta's dictionary.

The more thought he put into it, the more his bold and admittedly farfetched claim from earlier seemed like a hasty hypothesis. Rancis was forced to admit that Taffyta was, like, the furthest thing from a princess-esque behavior.

But if it wasn't Taffyta, then who could it be?

The reason that Taffyta had crossed his mind in the first place was because she was the closest thing to an impromptu leader that the racers had. Outside of King Candy's watchful eye, Taffyta Muttonfudge was undeniably the de facto leader of their posse, commanding the other racers like she owned the entire game. And to add icing on the cake, if her sharp tongue wasn't enough to convince everyone of her status, she genuinely had the racing skills to back it up.

Ah, her racing skills.

Loath as Rancis was to admit it, Taffyta's was truly remarkable. She'd made fools of any dissenters who doubted her skill behind the wheel time and time again, proving her ability by making quite a few impressive victories in the Random Roster Races.

Rancis fought back a grimace at the unpleasant bouts of memory. Yeah, quite a few impressive victories. Shame it always had to come from his losses.

"It's not Taffyta, is it?" Gloyd deadpanned with a scowl when he saw that Rancis—who'd suggested Taffyta in the first place—was having doubts about his very own idea.

Rancis sighed. "I suppose not…"

"Be realistic, Rancis. How many times must I adamantly insist that there's no princess here in Sugar Rush?" Gloyd's condescending frown slowly gave way to a soft smile as he tapped his temple with his index finger, massaging the spot directly under the rim of his pumpkin hat. "No matter how outlandish some of my pranks might seem, my little gray cells keep my ideas firmly within the realms of reality. Hoping for a princess in shining armor to come and save our sorry hinds is simply wishful thinking…"

Rancis lifted a hand to interject, but Gloyd raised his voice to shut him down before he could even get a word out. "The point is, can we kindly refrain from talking about any matters pertaining to a princess?" Gloyd offered, his opinion as tactless as one of his pranks. "A princess that, I must continue to stress, we aren't even sure exists in the first place?" he added for emphasis.

"Gloyd's right, bro." Swizzle dragged himself towards the arguing duo. "It can't possibly have remained a secret for this long without the jelly beans being spilled. It makes no sense that someone who's a princess wouldn't flaunt her status. I mean, just look at me… I invite all of you guys to witness my every stunt!" A rare goofy smile was plastered on his face as he proceeded to reminiscence about his many daredevil acts with fondness. "If there genuinely _was_ a princess, I think we'll all know by now."

"…unless the princess is trying to maintain a low profile!" Rancis hissed in excitement. "A secret princess…!" he gasped, unable to believe his own hypothesis.

"What the…" Gloyd muttered, exasperated. "Are you actually serious right now?" he asked, regarding Rancis with a face of complete and utter disbelief.

Rancis raised a confused brow. "Yes…" he tentatively replied, causing Swizzle to let out a restrained chuckle.

Gloyd flung his arms out in irritation. "Come on!" he shot back, the tone of disdain and disappointment clearly laced in his tone. "Assuming your first guess with Taffyta being a princess was somehow actually right on the mark, can you really believe that she of all people can keep something like this under wraps and not brag or let the knowledge about her princess status slip even once—be it accidentally or deliberately—for every single day in fifteen entire years?"

The question hung in the air, causing Rancis to flinch, his involuntary movement inadvertently betraying his true thoughts on Gloyd's comeback. Gloyd smirked in response, knowing that the answer to his "what-if" question was rhetorical.

"You do have a point there…" Rancis bemoaned. "I can't see Taffyta in that role." But before Gloyd could smugly declare his victory, Rancis added an addendum with an excited voice, "But I can see some of the other girls in that position!"

Gloyd tripped, almost falling flat to the ground as he registered the words. "Are you kidding me!?"

"Heh." Swizzle snapped his fingers, banging his head. "Though I don't believe the part about the princess, I can't deny that your idea actually sounds pretty cool."

"Don't worry, Swizz. If one of the girls in this game is secretly a princess, my suave looks will make her drop dead," Rancis preened with an exaggerated bow, before recovering back to his normal position and raising his eyebrows seductively. "And then, voilà! You can consider that debt as good as paid! The problem will be solved as easily as an obstacle blasted apart by a Sweet Seeker!"

Gloyd frowned at the apt comparison, his face turning black. "I kindly implore you not to talk to me about Sweet Seekers, Rancis…" the racer mumbled as he tugged on his jacket, hissing a few muffled obscenities under his breath about the accursed powerups. "I mean, let's be real here. The only legitimate way to get out of this in one piece is to pay that Tapper off with our own petty cash."

"Hate to be the bearer of bad news, dude, but I just blew my measly savings on stunt preparation. I'm flat broke." Swizzle raised his arms in surrender when he saw Rancis' glare, before sighing and giving an explanation to placate his friend. "Sorry, bro. 15th anniversary of our game, remember? Of course I was going to celebrate it by blowing some cash."

"I'm not that much of a thrifty saver myself… spent all of mine on candy corn or prank gadgets," Gloyd admitted. "And that sheepish look on your face tells me that you're dirt broke as well, Rancis," he deadpanned before jerking his head in the general direction of the race course. "So that means we don't have any spare cash to fall back on. Looks like we have to earn the cash back with prize money."

"Oh yeah, that's right! Our prize money if we win a race!" Swizzle snapped his fingers in realization. "When the Quarter Alert is sounded, the point system is in effect. Depending on how someone does during a race, they get a certain number of coins credited to them at the end of it," he spoke matter-of-factly, rubbing his hands in jubilant glee. "Does anyone need a reminder of what the monetary award is?"

"Seven coins if you get first place, five coins for second, four for third, three for fourth and fifth, two for sixth and seventh, one for eighth and ninth, and nothing but a 'better luck next time' for tenth place and below," Rancis recited from memory. Considering that he'd secretly been saving and scrimping to get materials for a better kart, he had the exact prize money that one would receive based on their race placings seared into his brain.

Gloyd tapped his chin contemplatively as he processed the figures, before pumping his fist up into the air. "Alright! Sweet! That's all I need to know. I'm headed back home to fix up my kart for the races. Catch ya 'round, Rancis."

"Wh-what?" Rancis managed to splutter at the retreating Gloyd before Swizzle's eyes glinted. "Actually, I see what you're getting at. Later, Rancis," Swizzle said as he bid his farewell, strutting off with a careless wave of his hand. "I'm headed back too. Need to make sure that my _Tongue Twister's_ all raring to go."

Rancis could only gawk at the other boys before he was left alone on the choco-paved walkway, with colorful gum drops off the road being the only thing that surrounded him. With disdain, he let out a tired breath and shot a passing glance towards Diet Cola Mountain, the large landmark looming in the distance.

Were they that confident that they'd manage to earn a thousand coins?

After all, the prize if they got first place was only a paltry seven coins. Rancis furrowed his brow, massaging his temple in frustration.

Now that was a problem, considering that the money they needed to gain by the end of the week was a quota of _one thousand_. To make matters worse, the race positions were mutually exclusive—there were no such things as ties in Sugar Rush, as individual race timings went down to split seconds—which meant that there was only ever one racer who could net first place in every race.

Even a moron could see that the absolute best that Rancis, Gloyd and Swizzle could do was for all three of them to come in first, second, and third place per race — allowing for a total of sixteen (7+5+4=16) coins of combined winnings in a single race to be placed into a pool of money that was to be solely used to keep Tapper's mouth shut about their escapade.

A normal day at Litwak's could pull in up to twenty games, so that was twenty chances for them to rack up their money, as the game only kept track of scores and money when a credit was inserted, which obviously could only happen if the arcade was open. That meant that if they consistently came in top three on an average day, they could potentially win up to three hundred and twenty coins.

Simple, right? In about three or four days, their debt could be repaid! Gloyd must have come to the same conclusion, which had to be why he'd left for his home in such a cheerful mood, with Swizzle following suit when he saw that his friend appeared to have everything under control.

But the issue was that achieving a consistent top three was the best-case scenario that they could hope for. However, there were multiple complications to this outlook.

For starters, he and Gloyd were on the roster list for the day. While Rancis would normally whoop in joy if he was given the opportunity to be picked as a player's avatar, being chosen was now a double-edged sword with his current objective of trying to get as much prize money as possible.

If he ended up being selected, how well he played in the race was entirely dependent on the skill level of the player, which could range from anywhere between 'pretty good' to 'absolutely terrible'. The same went for Gloyd too if he was selected, which meant that the only one who could reliably give his all for every single race of the day was Swizzle, who hadn't made it on the roster.

The other main issue he could foresee was that the amount of coins he'd calculated was only if he was being unrealistically optimistic — sixteen coins per race was true only if they were consistently in the top three. And with other veterans like King Candy and Taffyta blitzing around the track, the chances of them making such a cut… was virtually nil.

Rancis had never won first place on his own, for starters, and even in the hands of an experienced player he usually only made third or fourth at best. Of the trio, Gloyd probably had the best chance of making it far due to his kart's speedy acceleration, but if he went down to a Sweet Seeker—which happened far too often—he would end up way behind in late-game. Swizzle had a similar issue as he liked taking risky stunts and shortcuts — high risk, high reward. Either his daredevil playstyle payed off… or it resulted in him botching up and finishing dead last alongside some of the recolors — most of which were by far the slowest racers in the game.

And to make matters worse, his prediction of their placements in the races was only if they were in control! For Gloyd and Rancis, who were both on the roster board, how well they played if they ended up being picked was entirely up to fate…

Long story short, their performance was only likely to be mediocre and not top-notch, which severely inhibited the number of coins that they could save up. This was a major problem as the prize money credited at the end of a race was exponentially smaller the lower their placings were. Assuming they consistently scored around the mid-range in rankings, their combined earnings may only be a paltry three to seven coins instead of sixteen… which might not be enough to hit the one-thousand-coin debt owed to Tapper by the deadline the barkeep had given.

With these conditions, even if the three of them colluded all of their earnings, hitting a thousand in such a short span of time was an outlandish goal unless they did something drastic like pull all the racers in on their cause to maximize their earnings, a last resort that they couldn't afford lest the beans were spilled.

As a result, Rancis couldn't help but to wistfully say something that he hadn't intended to say out loud. "I mean, for there to be a princess in our game is our easy way out of this mess. All we gotta do is send the bill to her! Problem solved!"

"Eh? Since when was there a princess in Sugar Rush, Fluggerbutter?"

Rancis jumped at the sudden intrusion, the racer spinning on his heel and turning to his back to come face-to-face with the source of the voice. He felt cold sweat breaking out on his forehead when his brain registered the smug girl in green who had just made her presence known.

It was the glitch, Vanellope von Schweetz.

"Isn't that wishful thinking, Rancis? I highly doubt that a princess will come in and solve all your problems. That sort of thing only happens in fairy tales," the glitch continued, amusement embedded in every word of her voice. "And we're in a racing game, not a fantasy game. So keep on dreaming, Fluggerbutter."

Rancis nervously took a step back. "How long have you been following us?" Rancis tentatively asked, changing the subject. His eyes betrayed his apprehensiveness.

His question was rewarded by an innocuous expression from Vanellope. "Long enough." She used a hand to tousle her ponytail, flipping her candy-coated hair with a smirk. "Long enough to hear that you guys are in some major trouble, that is! Ahahahaha!"

_Just great. As if Tapper wasn't bad enough… now the glitch, of all people, managed to overhear even more information about this!_

Evidently Gloyd's Cherry Bomb from earlier hadn't done the trick in keeping her away. Rancis scowled, mentally likening her to a persistent blemish that wouldn't leave his face.

"So you just came to rub it in?" Rancis found himself clinging on to Gloyd's words from earlier for comfort — that any blackmail from Vanellope would be useless because she would be considered an unreliable source. No one would believe a word that she said… after all, the glitch was beneath them.

Vanellope fake-gasped at his accusation. "How could you say that? Did you really assume the worst out of me? Man, you're mean. My feelings are hurt." Though her retort was made in jest, there was, however, a hint of genuineness in her final words.

"Kindly shut it, glitch." Rancis wasn't in the mood to deal with this. Normally he'd shoot her a snide remark or two, but he was too tired and stressed to do that this time round.

Besides, he felt hesitant to do so without Taffyta's explicit orders. As always, he was a follower.

"Anyway…" Vanellope inflected the word, causing Rancis to snap his head at her. "That wasn't what I came to you for. I mean, if I had a choice, I'll just stay away from the lot of you bullies."

"The feeling is mutual," Rancis sassed, his arms by the sides of his chocolate blazer.

Vanellope glared at him, letting out a chuckle as she placed her hands in the pockets of her hoodie. The furious look only lasted for a second though, as she quickly dropped her expression, a chirpy grin adorning her face as she began pacing up and down.

"You see…" Vanellope drawled, "I couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for your unfortunate plight." She scoffed, folding her arms. "I mean, really? It doesn't seem all that fair for y'all to get blackmailed by some nobody just because of a tad bit of rotten luck."

He remained still as Vanellope went on with her tirade, selling her sweet words like caramel candy. What bugged Rancis about this whole conversation was that the glitch's reasoning for wanting to lend him a hand seemed perfectly sound at first, the motive standing up to even the harshest of scrutiny — it was just her feeling bad for their unfortunate luck and willing to let bygones be bygones by lending him a helping hand.

So why was it that Rancis could feel literal alarm bells going off in his head while she was speaking?

"So I just got this _brilliant_ idea." Vanellope inflected the word 'brilliant' in such a way that Rancis couldn't tell if she was actually serious or just being sardonically sarcastic. "Whoosh!" she spread her arms wide open, a huge grin splitting her face. "Listen to my glorious plan and you'll soon be rich! Fret not, you have nothing to fear, for your debt will soon be completely repaid!"

"Alright, let me get this straight. You—" he gestured his hands around to hush Vanellope, before shakily pointing at her in disbelief, "—actually want to help me?"

"Uh-huh!" Vanellope nodded fervently in response to Rancis, humming a jolly tune as she bobbed her head.

Rancis raised a brow in suspicion. "Really, huh?" She warily gazed at Vanellope with a skeptical look, trying to extrapolate exactly why the glitch was willing to help him out of the blue. She wasn't this nice… heck, she was downright nasty at times! Given all the warnings King Candy had given them regarding this hazardous girl, there had to be some kind of catch!

Why was the glitch willing to help him, just like that? It was such an idiosyncratic move for her to make. Although an innate part of Rancis screamed at him to run way and ditch the glitch, there was a portion of his mind that forced him to freeze in place, wanting its curiosity sated on what exactly she had to say.

Rancis was not especially enthused by either option. "So what exactly is your big plan?" he asked cautiously. He didn't have a good feeling about this, but now Rancis was loath to admit that his curiosity was piqued.

"Man, you're incorrigible. Don't get ahead of yourself, choco boy." Vanellope's tongue was as sharp as always, a teasing smirk embellishing her face, one which gave way to a chortle when she saw Rancis groaning at her words.

Yep. On his part, Rancis shuddered at her taunt. Licking his lips, he felt that they were now dry and parched.

"Let me state my master plan, okay?" she said, her eyes glinting mischievously. "I know that the three of you are flat broke. Now, I don't have any money on hand, but I can certainly steal you some."

"Steal?" Rancis gaped at her as though she had grown a second head.

"That's right," she affirmed. "I'm as sneaky as a fox! I can simply sneak around the other racers' houses and nab you a bunch of coins." At this point she pat Rancis on the back, the racer withdrawing slightly from her touch. "But I can't do it alone, so I need your help as a distraction to pull this off. All I ask for payment is that I be allowed to keep one gold coin in the exchange. Everything else you can take. Sound like a dream deal?"

Rancis simply stared at her. He'd never known that her argumentative and persuasive skills were so potent. But then again, he'd never had a reason to maintain an actual non-condescending conversation with the glitch for a span of more than five seconds in the past.

"What's the matter, Rancis? It's just a simple exchange." Vanellope winked at him, reaching her hand out to his. "Am I making you nervous? Cat got your tongue?"

Rancis balked at the insinuation. "Bleah!" he pantomimed gagging. Even so, he couldn't help but to let his mind wander off.

 _It's worth a shot_ , a sinful part of Rancis' brain tempted. _Anything is better than Tapper throwing us under King Candy's royal race kart. That'll end up with us in a large heaped serving of hot fudge Fungeon._

 _Shut up_ , the rational part of his brain replied, the synapses in his mind surging to overthrow his earlier treasonous thoughts. _If you agree, that means you'll be voluntarily working with the glitch… the_ glitch _!_

Accepting Vanellope's deal and going along with her idea was like taking a poisoned chalice to Rancis. Though her plan was sound and highly likely to work, if any of the others ever managed to trace the deed back to him… his fate would practically be sealed. They wouldn't hesitate to sell him out to King Candy.

And if King Candy himself or any of his guards found out about his secret agreement with the glitch, well… the resulting punishment doled out would be a thousand times worse than if he had been caught for sneaking out in the first place.

"Come on, Rancis!" she pleaded, extending her hand even further out as Rancis snapped back to reality. "What's there to think about? I mean, it's a piece of cake on your end! I'll be the one doing all the hard work. Just accept the deal and all your problems will be solved. Why are you even hesitating, huh?"

Rancis froze up on the spot. The glitch was certainly asking a lot of pertinent questions. If he were to be perfectly honest, she was getting a wee bit too close for comfort.

The girl continued to obstinately extend her hand, though it was becoming clear from her increasingly forced smile that her patience was quickly dwindling. Soon her lips tightened into a straight line, her expression becoming exasperated.

"Look, Rancis. Are you in or not?" Vanellope grumbled, before a firm scowl lit up her face. "Okay, buster. Limited time offer," she said, annoyed. "I'm going to count to three…" She raised her right fist before continuing, "…and my offer will rescind if I make it to three. Hurry up already, ya slowpoke!"

Rancis blinked in shock. Molten toffees, she was actually using time pressure to psyche him into taking the deal prematurely.

"One…" Vanellope began the countdown with a commanding voice, practically coercing Rancis to accept her terms. All it would take for him to agree with her now was a little push, and then—

But why was she being so pushy and adamant for him to accept? That just screamed of suspicion. Making an offer like this seemed counter-intuitive to her — after all, the glitch would gain nothing out of helping him…

Rancis' eyes bugged out when the answer smacked him in the face.

" _All I ask for payment is that I be allowed to keep one gold coin in the exchange."_

Oh, no. She _would_ gain something out of the exchange, and it was something that could devastate all of Sugar Rush.

One gold coin.

That was what she was really after.

It'd been in plain sight all along. Vanellope wanted to trick him into accepting the bargain so that she could scoot off in the aftermath with a gold coin in her possession — the price of entry into a _Random Roster Race_.

Rancis felt a mounting headache coming on, King Candy's words from fifteen years ago reverberating throughout his head.

" _See to it that the glitch will never be allowed to race! She's nothing more than a glitch! We must get rid of her for the game's stability!"_

Their ruler had never gotten into specifics as to why they couldn't have the glitch race besides a brief 'she'll ruin our game' explanation, but the innate pride within Rancis caused him to jeer at her along with the others.

But he wasn't used to her snarking back at him in a one-on-one conversation like this. Previously, he'd always had Taffyta or Candlehead or someone else backing him up, but this time, her fiery and determined personality overshadowed his laid-back one.

It was no wonder he hadn't noticed the glitch's true goal until she got careless, trying to goad him to accept in a more hostile manner. She'd distracted him with the allure of being able to fix their problem, and if he had been slightly less cautious, he knew that he wouldn't have questioned her as to why she only wanted a single gold coin instead of going for an equivalent fifty-fifty split.

Because it was obvious why now. She only needed one coin to enter.

That was why she'd tried to ward off suspicion by minimizing her earnings to a single coin, letting Rancis keep every single other coin — so as to make the offer enticing for him. Rather ironically, her generous terms had been what tipped him off in the end.

It was an underhanded tactic.

It was certainly an unorthodox way of manipulation.

But really, what else did he expect from the conniving little glitch of Sugar Rush?

"Two…" Vanellope continued, a cheeky smirk tugging on her lips as she flashed him the peace sign, aka the number 2.

Firmly making up his mind that the glitch would not get her way, Rancis shook his head disparagingly. He refused to accede to her demands now that he knew what the wily girl was really after.

A brief look of alarm crossed her face, quickly hidden behind a mask of curiosity. "What? You won't help me? Why not, Fluggerbutter?" she questioned.

Though she kept her body language guarded, now that Rancis knew that she was lying about being in his best interests, he could spot quite a few telltale signs that told him that she was feigning ignorance — the slight tremble of her fingers, idly shifting her weight from side to side…

…and a crooked smile plastered on her face, one which screamed of insincerity and deceit. That crooked smile perfectly encapsulated Vanellope von Schweetz, the unwanted glitch of Sugar Rush — a cunning trickster who wanted nothing more than to cause mayhem and anarchy.

She'd never cared for him. She only cared about herself.

"I know that everything you just told me was a load of crock." Rancis didn't know where he'd gotten the courage to speak like this, but he was guessing that his anger was fueling him. "It was never about me or trying to help me pay back my debt. You only need my help as a distraction solely so that you can steal a gold coin for yourself."

Vanellope's lips straightened into a line, the corners pursed to a borderline frown. That said, she tried her best to refrain from outwardly displaying her frustration. She didn't even have the dignity of looking abashed at his claims of being manipulated. "What makes you think that?" she started, taking a step forward.

"You know it's true," Rancis scowled at her, tapping his foot impatiently against the ground.

Vanellope—the glitch, Rancis had to remind himself—scoffed at him, her hands pointedly by her hips. She snarled, her feelings volatile and easily readable for once.

And to think that she'd almost trapped him in her web of sweet lies, ensnaring him with her promise of getting him out of trouble that he almost missed her manipulative catch in the Faustian bargain he'd been handed on a silver platter. Rancis was inwardly glad that he'd seen her true colors before he did something that he'd regret.

Once Vanellope knew that Rancis wasn't going to change his stance, she howled in frustration. Having no sense of personal space in the slightest, she marched right up to Rancis and prodded him on his button-shaped nose with her index finger, her scornful brown eyes viciously glaring into his blue ones. "Fine then, refuse me! But you'll regret this! I hope that the whole lot of you stay stuck in your stupid gargantuan debt!" she swore before twirling around and storming away.

Curt and tactless. Ouch. That was the glitch for ya. Still, Rancis maintained his calm exterior when he saw the formerly gleeful Vanellope throwing a fit, the glitch knowing that he'd seen right through her sneaky plan.

"Mark my words, Rancis!" She yelled at him from the distance. "It's been fifteen years to the day, but eventually Lady Luck's gonna smile upon poor ol' Vanellope here!" She held her arms wide open for emphasis as she proceeded to hurl more insults at him. "One of these days, I'll find myself a gold coin and buy my way into a race! And I'll do it with or without your crummy help, Fluggerbutter! Just you wait!"

And with that final bout of insults, the steadfast Vanellope turned tail and scooted off, leaving Rancis by himself once more.

Rancis cautiously used one hand to comb his blond fringe—being careful not to mess up his hair, of course—while placing his free hand up to his chin in contemplation. For better or worse, one possible method of repaying the debt to Tapper was now closed off. He was now right back to square one of his little thousand-coin conundrum.

With a forlorn sigh, he continued to trudge back to his home.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Sorry for the wait, I was down with the common cold.

Tension's now ramping up… the stakes are slowly falling into place. Also, this chapter marks the end of the introductory arc. Rejoice.

Wonder how many of you saw right through Vanellope's plan before Rancis managed to catch on?


End file.
